Snow

The snow is falling. Really big, fat snowflakes.
I would like nothing more than to put on my winter jacket and go make snow angels in the backyard.
But then I remember I don't like to move anymore. Plus, I'm not allowed to lie down on my back.
FML.

The unconvienent alien attack

It's 9:37 pm and I'm already in bed. My exhaustion is not due to any strenuous labor but due to me not sleeping last night because I was sure that aliens were in my house.

I woke up with a start around 4am (I refused to look at the clock because that usually just stresses me out even more). ,My awakening was due to the sound of something massive landing on my roof. It sounded at least 30-40 lbs. After some quick calculations, I decided the only reasonable answer was that aliens had landed on my roof. This was my conclusion because:

1. something had hit the roof... NOT fallen off of it.
2. nothing that is over 30 lbs could land on my roof in the middle of winter

Therefore, aliens were the only reasonable explanation.

I spent the next 3 hours contemplating how I should proceed with the alien invasion. Should I check up on my sister in case they were dissecting her body? I know I would much appreciate it if I was in her position. I decided not to check on her because I'm a chicken and had a baby to think about. I then started to worry about the possibility that the aliends would LOVE to dissect me because I was pregant. I mean, who doesn't want to see the real anatomy of a pregnant woman. How does that baby fit in there?????

During this time, 3 more "aliens" hit my roof.

I finally fell asleep as light was shining through my blinds. Stupid aliens ruining my precious sleep.....

How-to begin a fantastic presentation...

There is no such thing as boring knowledge.
There is only boring presentation.

For every presentation I give, my final goal is to get my audience thinking.... and to do this, you must engage them.

Audience members remember the beginning and end of a presentation the best.
The beginning of a presentation is important; it sets the mood and will help the audience figure out what to expect. For example, beginning a prostate cancer marketing presentation with a story about the time you first encountered cancer would be meaningful and set a mood of seriousness . However, opening a SEARS financial presentation with a funny, related question would be attention-grabbing and set a mood of lightness.

Here are some ideas to start off a presentation:

1. Tell a funny story (can be fictitious or not)
2. Ask a random question...... Ex. "What would Buddha tweet?"
3. Introduce yourself interestingly
4. Make up a new word and define it..... Ex. e-do: the act of doing things over the internet

Catering your presentation to your audience's needs is crucial. What is your audience demographic? Education level? What do they want to get out of your presentation? How can you keep them engaged?

Just use your common sense. If the presentation bores you, I guarantee the audience will feel the same.

A Monday diary

I woke up at 11:52 am today. Correction, I woke up at 7:48 am and didn't crawl out of bed until 11:52. I debated whether or not to spend another lethargic day bathing in nothingness. Luckily, my sister forced me into the "not".

I drove her and myself to the library to get a book titled "If You Want to Write" by Brenda Ueland. It was highly recommended on this new blog I love (Presentation Zen). Plus, I've been wanting to improve my writing.

Sadly, as what usually happens in libraries, the book (though declared as 'Checked in') could not be found in its rightful place on the bookshelf. Over my fat, heavy body was I going to trudge around and try to find it. So I picked up another book that had a cover I connected with. "PEN ON FIRE".

I've read the opening quotation so far and have already written 10 blog rough-drafts, this journal and a bunch of other creative thoughts. I also found 2 new amazing blogs. This book is amazing. Ha Ha Ha.

Back to my day... I drove around the neighbourhood running little errands with Chi Mai revolving around:

a) exchanging my X-mas presents
b) letting Chi Mai window shop.

I did successfully buy some fantastic post-it notes ON SALE at Staplex and will buy an adorable water bottle at Chapters when the place is a little less crowded.

I got home around 3 hours later and relaxed for a bit before heading out to Milestones with the SPLX girls. It was a fun night. Good food, lots of food, great service (the manager herself guarenteed me that I wouldn't die from my allergies while I was here). I've never had that before! I love those girls so much. We each have our distinct personaities and are pretty different from each other but for some reason, we're really great friends. With most of my friends, our relationships and chillfests are just splurges of the moment. But with these girls, we go out of our way to make time for each other... even if only once every 3 months.

And now, here I am... tired but too wired with creative diarrhea. Plus, the wind is blowing at like, 60 km/h makiing my house super creaky.

PS. Baby is getting sooooo heavy. My back is killing me.

how-to stay organized..... theresa-style

If there is one thing I am exceptional at.... it would be organizing. haha.

It's 4:42pm and so far, I've:

• paid off all debt
• cleaned out old purses and bags
• made lemon tea
• dressed up my window including tying up my broken blinds and taping up curtains
• adding some plants
• complied my massive TO-DO list
  

Today, my focus was on re-organizing my room so that I would have more space to work on my projects. I've always been a bit of an over-achiever.... actually, I like to overwhelm myself with projects but rarely finish them. To battle against this habit, I find writing everything down on a big list helps me sort out which are truly important. That way, I can ensure that I at least complete one project.

addict of the season

So, I've become addicted to Project Runway lately. I've always been a fan of the show but have never really tried to watch it unless it was on TV. However, thanks to the beauty that is Youtube, I've been able to catch up on all the episodes from season 2. YEA! My computer, however, takes forever to download them. Pisses me off.

I finished reading The Gargoyle. As with The Thirteenth Tales, I was a bit disappointed. I really expected it to keep me on the edge of my seat and be really provocative. Nope... definitely not. The underlying love story was good, there were some really nice "mini-stories", but my overall ranking of the book is 5/10. Borderline good.

As of tomorrow, I'm starting work on my website design. Still no good apartments :(

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
This is by far the most relaxing Christmas I've ever had. No running around, no major cooking, no major parties. Ahhhh.... relief.
Yesterday, mom and I cooked a nice dinner for the family including a turkey and rice-paper rolls. Of course, my family ate 4 slices of turkey before we were full.. haha. Poor turkey. We were going to go to church and wander around downtown but mom pulled a muscle in her back causing her to go to bed at 9. So, Chi Mai and I ended up watching a movie which was an embarassing teen movie. I won't even mention the title.
Today, church in the afternoon, pho for lunch and then PRESENTS! I bought mom and bo a shredder which, contrary to what Chi Mai thought, they loved it. Bo spent 30 mins shredding all the wrapping paper. He looked like a little boy.
Chi Mai is going to her boyfriend's for dinner so we're just going to eat leftovers and watch a movie. It'll be nice. Happy Holidays!

Baby and Books

I had my monthly doctor's appointment yesterday. She informed me that the baby is breeched which means its butt is facing down. That explains why when the baby turns around, it feels like a gigantic ocean wave rolling inside me. Usually the baby turns itself the right way by week 32... but I'll have to have another ultrasound to confirm if the baby moved. If the baby doesn't turn itself around than I have to have a C-section. Apparently, doctor's no longer risk physically turning the baby for first time mothers. All I keep thinking is "just get this baby out of here!" hahaha.

I spent all day reading "The Thirteenth Tale" today. My biggest dedication in life is to books. I devour books. I read the biggest Harry Potter book in less than 48 hours. D used to be soooo surprised at my speed of reading. I don't just skim over the words. I actually read every word. Unfortunately, I usually have to read the book twice in order for it to really sink into my memory.
I really enjoyed the The Thirteenth Tale. It reminds me of Jane Eyre and Withering Heights. I've always held a fear of those two stories. I don't like crazy people... especially when they're locked up in their house with people who don't know how to deal with the craziness and just leave the person to do whatever they want. And ESPECIALLY when the setting is in England. Just ghastly. The author definitely kept me wondering "what the hell is going on???" I wouldn't say that I was sitting on the edge of my sit but I can see how for some readers, they would be. It's just the whole spookiness plot that made me have to take multiple breaks in order to prepare myself for whatever outcome the author was going to throw at me. I don't deal well with mystery novels. Still... a very classic novel.

Up next.... The Gargoyle.

It takes two

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder... How the hell did I get here? When this thought comes up, I find myself staring off into space and thinking of only one thing: where is he?
I try so hard to stay positive, to focus on always moving forward and to try and forget the past. But I find that as the big day looms closer.... I'm starting to feel more alone and more scared. I never realized just how lonely "motherhood" is. The livelihood of this precious being lies completely in my hands. The future of so many lives rest on the decisions I make today. What I hate the most is that this is such a new thing for everybody. It's like a trek across a field riddled with landmines. Trial and error seem to be the only way to get to the other side.

How did I get here? I have 2 journals filled with entries on D. Every night, I'm overwhelmed by this need to relive my past. A past where I was so happy. So consistently and unquestionable happy. Every night, I open up one of these journals and read my entries that seem to have been written so long ago. Afterwards, I read the date and realize it was only 2 years ago, 1 year ago, 9 months ago. I have lost so much and have gained so much... but the weight of what I've lost seems to shadow the things I've gained. I miss my best friend so much. I miss the only person I can honestly say knew me better than I knew myself. I miss the small things like the comfort of knowing he was only a phone call away, smiling when I saw his number calling me, the hugs. I see him now and it's like looking into the eyes of a stranger. I try my best to avoid looking at him because the pain is just overwhelming sometimes. How did we get here? We spent 2.5 years giggling and whispering into the phone every night, confiding everything to each other. We'd catch each others' eyes from across the room and instantly know what the other was thinking. I came across a picture of us taken 2 summers ago. We were sitting together at a friend's party. His arms were around me, our fingers intertwined and we were just smiling so happily at each other.

Love is a dangerous game. The bigger the love.... the more threatening the game. I keep seeing my friends one by one lose their loves either due to careers, other people or just the slow dying of the feelings. Hindsight is a bitch. If I could, I would call him right now and just apologize for being a stupid, naive girl who foolishly let herself fall in love. I would apologize for demanding such ridiculous expectations like phonecalls every night, hanging out with me all the time, including me in every part of your life. These things seem so small and juvenille in hindsight. I promise that if given another chance, I'd do it better. I'd make him so happy that he'd never think twice about leaving me. Maybe then, I'd have the strength to keep my baby.
But the reality is that it takes two to make a relationship work. It takes two to complete a child's life. It takes two to fix what has been broken. I can't do it all. I've tried and I've failed so many times. I was trying to explain to my friend the other day the fall of heartbreak. How, even though it may seem impossible, climbing out of the fog of pain is possible. Once you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere else to go but up. I've hit rock bottom more times that I care to remember. I've blocked so many memories of those painful months that when the time has come for me to retell my experiences to others to try and help them... I'm faced with a black wall.

I walk around trying to put my strongest foot forward, to keep my head up high and my eyes on the my dreams. I apoligize to my friends for not being better able to tell them how to get through these horrible times, but hopefully, they can look at me and realize that the other side is there.... and happiness can be felt again. It may not be as complete as what it used to be, but it's there and it's presence is still worth every effort.
I may not be strong enough to keep my baby or fix my broken relationship.... but I am strong enough to not lose hope that maybe.... maybe this all happened for a reason and one day, I'll be able to be completely happy again as I was 9 months ago.

TED talks: Hans Rosling

I found this video two days ago and have been meaning to upload it. And now... thanks to Bob, the video is now uploaded!!!
I think Hans Rosling is a fantastic presenter.... and his use of graphs is brilliant.

temptations

Three things that I think about constantly while pregnant:
Drinking alcohol
Tattoos
Getting rocking abs

ANNNDDD!! I just found out that Kiera Knightley has been dating Rupert Friend for over 2 years!!! I fell in LOVE with Rupert in Pride and Prejudice. sooooo dreamy.

First time online shopper

I bought something online today for the first time!!! It was so exciting!
I bought 5 books at chapter.indigo.ca. It was so much faster than going to the store. Anytime I step into a Chapters store... I spend on average 1.5 hours wandering and buying everything I touch. I bought all 5 christmas presents in less than one hour! And I know for sure the books are going to be good because I made sure all had 5-star reviews.

• The Gargoyle: A coke-addled pornographer, drives his car off a mountain road in a part of the country that's never specified. During his painful recovery from horrific burns suffered in the crash, the narrator plots to end his life after his release from the hospital. When a schizophrenic fellow patient, Marianne Engel, begins to visit him and describe her memories of their love affair in medieval Germany, the narrator is at first skeptical, but grows less so. Eventually, he abandons his elaborate suicide plan and envisions a life with Engel, a sculptress specializing in gargoyles.
• L.A Candy: Basically, Lauren Conrad's autobiography. I was skeptical at first of the book but the reviews have been great.
• The Thirteenth Tale: Margaret Lea, amateur biographer, is summoned by Vida Winter, a secretive author of stories, to write her last autobiography. Margaret knows nothing about this woman, does some research and discovers that Vida has only written 12 books of a 13 book series.
• The Hunger Games: I bought this book for my 12 year old cousin. The storyline seems better suited for adults. In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the other districts in line by forcing them to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight-to-the-death on live TV. One boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and sixteen are selected by lottery to play. The winner brings riches and favor tohis or her district.

Sex please

It's a girl! I figured only a girl could reek this much havoc on my life.
Ya.... definitely a woman's work.

Quote of the Day

"You don't really know a man until you have a child with him. Then you see so much. Is he kind? Is he tolerant? Is he boring? Is he loving? Or is he immature and egotistical and selfish?"

-Canadace Bushnell, One Fifth Avenue

day 1 of apartment shopping

So, I went to visit 2 apartments yesterday. UGH.... this might take a while.
The first apartment had an absolutely brilliant location. 2 minute walk to the train and 5 min walk to the main street....... And then I met the landlord. I got a bad vibe from him... and he was a tool. I asked how much hydro was a month since it wasn't included in the rent and his answer, "uuuuuhhhhh...... I don't... I don't know". (blank face).
Ya, ok, definitely NOT renting from you. The place was grunge but livable.

2nd place I visited had a beautiful apartment, completely renovated (as in it was still under renovation when I visited it). Not the greatest location, or in the best neighborhood. The landlord was super nice. I really liked him. My parents came with me to visit this apartment and they really liked it.

My problem is now trying to find a short term lease agreement. My friend and I are only planning on moving out for 4 months. After the baby is born, I'm going to try and find a job anywhere.... so I don't want to be strapped into a year lease. UGH.

the process begins

I have dreamed about living on my own for years.
And now the time to find the perfect place to rent is starting.
So far, I've found 3 places I really like. One is furnished (which is perfect since I don't have or can afford any furniture) for $900...Heat and hydro, internet, cable, and telephone all included. Awesome location right by the train.

The other is not furnished by has an awesome location and looks really nice.

The third is in my favorite, trendy neighbourhood. The pictures aren't very clear so I'm going to have to wait till the viewing to really get a sense of the place.

All in all, I'm excited but extremely nervous!

Balloon Face

I often find myself in the hospital. Far more times than I'd wish. Yesterday, on the way to school I was hit with a sudden allergy attack. It came out of nowhere and I have no idea what caused it.
All I know is that I was standing outside my class when my eyes started itching.... the "allergy itch". I knew I had about 30 mins before it'd get bad.... little did I know that I actually only had 5 mins. It was so embarrassing!!! I was walking as fast to my car as possible, with massively swollen eyes and tears just streaming everywhere. Plus, I was wearing makeup which didn't make the whole eye leaking thing better. By the time I got to the car, I could barely see.
Long story short, had the ambulance called for me, they shot me up with Benedryl which made me all drousy and baby super hyper. I was in the hospital for about 3 hours before they let me go home. I had to go to the bathroom at one point and almost screamed at my reflection. I DIDN'T EVEN LOOK HUMAN!!! My face was so scary.... no wonder wandering paramedics took a double take at me. I'm surprised they didn't yell.

School is pretty much over. I survived my week from hell. Everything went pretty much as planned... thank god. I was much less stressed then everyone else.
Now onto Christmas shopping. Oh dear god.......