Another Sunday Morning

Spending the day at my computer. Just checking up on blogs, twitter and doing some research into Google Adwords.

So far, highlight of my day Hugh MacLeod's pick up line.

"You're kinda cool... i'm kinda cool... We should kiss".

Bah ha ha ha!!!

So, just finished having a quick lunch/snack with my parents. We were just sitting in our bright, yellow kitchen and my dad was telling us about a dream he had last night. My dad is all-unto his own category.

He's a short, slightly balding, Vietnamese man with a big nose and thick glasses.

He is the most easy going man I've ever met, who rarely talks unless he has a glass of wine and a beer in his stomache. Then it's all smiles and corny jokes.

Life is simple from his perspective. He just take things as they going.... and he just keeps living.

Anyways, his dream was about a summer vacation trip. He was driving somewhere and had to pick up my dead grandma, my aunt, who lives in Toronto, and a cousin, who lives in California. (Did I mention he was driving?)
Suddenly, he found himself in the passenger's seat with a strange man driving the car instead. But whatever... it's a dream right.

Out of nowhere, the car stops working and a horde of people come up behind the car and start to push it. My dad got extremely scared. He started yelling at the driver to steer the car but the driver didn't know how to drive.

My dad just kept emphasizing how insanely scared he got and it finally shocked him out of his dream. ha ha ha. My dad is so strange.

All my life, I've been dying to move out... but I never realized how much I'm going to miss my "home life". My parents and I never really got along well but that was mostly because I never made time for them. I'd always be out with friends, working, studying. Now that I have so much free time and basically never leave the house, my relationship with them has gotten so much better.
Once I move out, things will never be the same. I'm going to miss out on all the small things, like my dad's random jokes, my mom's stories, and my sister's makeup.

But, that's what growing up is all about right?

And really... when does "growing up" end?

The Perfect Apartment

Finally found the perfect apartment! Perfect location, perfect size, perfect, perfect perfect. :)
(Ever notice how much weirder a word looks when you write it so much).
I checked out the apartment last night with my parents and future roommate. The tenants were really nice. The bedrooms were a decent size and the living area was really big. I was on such a happy high that I spent the entire night dreaming of decorating the apartment. It'll be so much fun. The tenants are even leaving us the sofa! Thank God.... they're saving me $150. There's another couple who is viewing the apartment today but hopefully I'll get it.
YEAAA!!! The stress of apartment shopping might soon be over!

A Fall Saturday...

I had a very relaxing Saturday. I haven't had one of those in a while.
It was bright and warm. The neighborhood was surprisingly quiet. No screaming kids.
I woke up late as usual but got lots of cleaning and Japanese studying done.
I watched the Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. It was ok.... there were some laughs. It was mostly just super corny.
I've been doing really good with being alone. I sometimes even cherish it. I like not having to care about someone constantly, always being there for him, etc. But, sometimes, it gets lonely. I find it gets especially lonely when I'm watching movies. That used to be our thing. We'd watch a movie at least once a week. I can't help but feel forlorn when I'm watching a movie by myself and there's no "him" to lean against or hug. No one to share the experience.

The weather is going to be amazing this coming week. I'm excited. This whole season has been rainy and dark. The end of school is coming closer... and I'm wondering just what the hell I should do. I can't imagine NOT doing school... but I really don't want to deal with all the stares and questions. They'll be no hiding the pregnancy by December. My clothes can only get so bulky and big before my school friends starts noticing. Sometimes, I feel like I should be telling people my story. Human beings learn from each others' experiences. Maybe, if some girl finds herself in my position, she won't feel so lonely. She won't resort to abortion thinking that it's the only solution. I don't know. I feel afraid most of the time when I think about the baby. I think about how in a year from today, I will no longer be pregnant and my daughter or son will be out in the world doing who knows what. His or her parents will be giving it a bath, tucking it into bed.... and where will I be? What will I be doing? Will I be happy?

If I close my eyes and really concentrate, I can sometimes see my life. See what my next steps are going to be. But when I open my eyes, reality crashes in and I feel scared. My future still seems so far away. I feel like I'm stuck in a time capsule waiting for the future to set me free. When I dream, I see myself in a room with sunshine pouring in through the windows. I feel warm. I'm cutting out fabrics and attempting to make something. I smell coffee (blessed coffee that I haven't tasted in 6 months), there's faint music singing in the background... and I feel content. I am happy.

I finally finished reading the Time Traveller's Wife. Some people find stories that just talk about daily life boring, but I always find it interesting. Whenever the author talked about Claire in her studio, the peace she was feeling... it gives me hope. For just a few minutes, I'm lost in Claire's feelings... I feel at peace too.

I will be moving out sometime in December. I'm very excited and scared. It'll be my first time alone which is something I'm dying for. I'm just scared I'm not going to find a good living situation. I don't have money so my options are limited. Hopefully, one of friends that own their own house will take me in for $300 a month. I can't wait for the quiet. No nagging... no hiding in my room. I'll be free to be happy with what time I have left with my baby.