Day 47: Project Crib

Rosie getting burped- 2 days old

So, like every stupid parent, I succumbed to co-sleeping with my baby for a few days. Two weeks to be exact. It was my last few weeks of school and I had major assignments and exams to complete. I figured that I need the sleep more and would have time to pay the price after school was done. Little did I realize how big of a price I would end up paying.

All doctors say to make sure your baby sleeps on their back. This is to reduce the likelihood of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). No one knows what causes SIDS; there are only speculations.

Despite my heavy research in “What to Expect the First Year” (which, by the way, is thicker than the bible and I read it all), nothing prepared me for sight of my baby shocking herself awake every few minutes due to her flailing arms. If it didn’t lead to crying the situation would be hilarious.

So, the solution to flailing arms is swaddling (my new most hated word). Swaddling involves burrito wrapping your newborn so tight that they can’t move their arms. It’s supposed to mimic the womb but Rosie never liked the confinement of the womb and that trait has extended into reality. She HATES swaddling. Yet, it’s the only way to let her sleep peacefully... at least until she suddenly realizes she’s swaddled and screams bloody murder. I have to trick her into the swaddle by wrapping my arms tightly around her after I’ve speed-wrapped her. That way, she thinks she can’t move because of my arms and that’s okay because she likes mommy’s arms.

She’s getting smarter though and has learned that mommy is a shitty swaddler and if she moves her arms like so, she can release them from the burrito wrap and shock herself to life’s content.

To get back to my story, I let Rosie not only co-sleep with me but let her sleep on her side which reduced the shocks by 80%. Now, not only will she not sleep in her crib, but won’t sleep on her back. FML.

This is how project crib got started. I have concocted an elaborate scheme to get Rosie out of my bed. Details to continue next post.