Saturday, September 4, 2010

Miss Incredible

I'm in shock. Rosie only cried for 30 minutes before falling asleep! Ferberization = success!!!! Ok, it's really only day two but both nights, she's only cried for half an hour vs. the hour and a half last time :-)

I feels weird being "normal" again. I almost didn't know what to do with my sudden spare time. It's incredible how that one effort of pushing Rosie out of my bed has done. I can DO stuff when she sleeps. I don't quite know how to explain this shining, white light that seems to have fallen upon me. ha ha. Incredible.

However, with every up, there's a down. Rosie is behaving wonderfully but my teenage sister is not. My family is being attacked by the teenage rebellious stage. It's getting annoying. My sister is delusional and thinks that she can survive on her own and doesn't need us. If we say no to any of her commands, she disregards it and walks out. My mom pulled a leg muscle this week and had to take care of Rosie. She asked my sister if she could refrain from going shopping to stay and watch Rose. My sister left anyways. I've tried talking to her maturely and dripping with empathy but she's taking it the wrong way. She's twisting it to benefit her. I'm at my wits end. My last attempt to smack some sense into her is with "the experiment".

She thinks she can live on her own, I'm going to let her (to a certain extent). If you want to live on your own, then you better prove that you're financially able to or else the homeless shelter is where you'll find yourself. She can do whatever she wants but rent, utilities, groceries will need to come from somewhere. Oh, and feeding herself might become burdensome.

It's frustrating that in a time when she should be focusing on applying for college and university, she's going to be scrambling to realize that her knowledge of the world is a lot smaller than she thought. It's going to be a hard lesson but one she'll have to take or I'm afraid my parents will soon snap and ask her to leave permanently. I would describe my used-to-be sweet sister as the typical, conformed teenager with no passion (except texting and shopping), no goals and livin' in the suburb bubble. I was pretty stupid when I was a teenager, but my sister has surpassed me.

Another tidbit of news, Rose's dad has broken up with his crazy girlfriend and has moved back home. What a stroke of luck (this is sarcasm). This happens 3 days after he receives a call from my lawyer informing him that I have filed for sole custody. We shall see what happens. I will need to talk to D soon. I hired my lawyer to do this for me, but he made me realize that I could only hide so much from D. My lawyer won't always be there to talk for me. I am procrastinating so much. All instinct is telling me to not give him an inch, don't give him a chance to ever hurt Rosie again. My heart is asking to be compassionate and to believe that maybe, good will prevail.

It doesn't help that he's appearing in every dream again.


  1. Theresa,

    Your blog has shown me that you've been growing up with motherhood. Essentially, you (with your lawyer's backup) have to deal with Rosie's dad on an adult level. The bottom line should be that if he wants to be a grownup, too, and contribute to Rosie's life materially and emotionally, he has to man up and act like an adult. You do not need any hassles from an overgrown kid. I'll say a prayer that your sister wises up, and that things will work out for you all. Hang in there!

  2. Thank you for your kind words :) It meant a lot to me and put a smile on my face.