Friday, November 13, 2009

Another sunny day and I'm sitting in my parent's room, where the sun always shines the longest. I painted my nails today for the first time in a while. Actually, I painted them blue a few days ago and then decided to go black. I read in Flare magazine that the newest fall color for nails is grey. I actually really like the idea. I'm going to go buy some grey nail polish now.

Listening to Rihanna's new song "Russian Roulette". Daydreaming about the future. I keep trying to picture where I'm going to be in 2 years. I'm thinking now about going to Chicago or Boston for fashion school. My friend Rachel is planning on moving to Melbourne, New Zealand for her masters. Maybe I'll follow her. :) I can't imagine a winter without snow though. Snow and Canadians to be more specific. Snow and skating..... and beavertails. Mmmmmm.

My daydreams usually focus on interior decorating a lot. Like, I can't imagine what my situation will be like unless I fully daydream up my apartment. Since I'm doing nothing during my third trimester, I think I'm going to do make a bunch of house products (like lamps, pictures, etc.) I have a really good idea for a lamp. I'm going to glue tiny pieces of glass onto a vase and put a lightbulb on top. I got the idea of making my own lamp off "Sara's cottage" when she made 2 lamps out of birch logs. So cool. I'll put up pictures of what I make.

I don't know why... but I let myself think of "him" today. The tall, cold one. haha... sound more like a beer than a person. I've been working really hard at never seeing him. I don't go to the pool anymore when he's working. It sucks for me because then I can't swim (which is where I get my best workout) but I think it just makes things easier for me when I don't see him. I've had to work with him twice but acted like he didn't even exist. Asha was super impressed with me. hahaha. She said that the entire shift, he kept staring at me like a lost puppy. I know exactly which look she's talking about. The one he puts on when he tries to get pity. Well, I didn't even look at him. But, sometimes I worry about the day when he'll finalyl confront me. What am I going to say to him? A big part of me just wants to tell him the truth. That he's hurt me so much that I can't take it anymore. That I still love him but have given up waiting. Another part of me just wants to tell him to leave me alone and stay out of my life forever. But, then I'll always wonder whether he would've come back if I hadn't scared him so much. The smart part of me tell me to not say anything and walk away. He'll probably just twist what I say anyways to make me look like the bad guy.

Christmas is coming soon. I've always loved Christmas season except last winter. Last year I had to do all the Christmas shopping for my family. It was hell! My mother would just give me a huge list of the people I had to buy for and sent me off. When I'd get home, she'd review my purchases and then send me back to return things and start again. This year, I refuse to do her shopping. I'm actually going to try and buy as much stuff online as possible. It'll be my first time shopping online. Ohhhhh!!!

I've been trying to learn about social media tactics recently. Just for fun. I find the stuff facinating. I'm trying to work on creating my personal brand..... or in other words, brand myself. So far, I've made this blog, a twitter account and FB of course. I'm going to work on a website with Bob and a business card. I just don't know what to focus on. I feel like this blog is WAY to personal for me to use to brand myself. I don't know whether I should focus in on the businesses I want to create or on my knowledge. Or both. I'm entering a entreprenuer competition this year for my Underwear Lovers business plan. Though, I still haven't found a designer to help me actually make the underwear. I have an idea for the models and everything. I really don't want people to get distracted away from the underwear with boobs and bras so I was thinking of just making my models wear plain bands or a wreath (my daydream involved a christmas fashion show). hahaha.

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